Topic 186: On Deceiving Oneself

Carol:

What’s Up, Doc?   

I haven’t pulled a topic out of the daily theme basket lately that really excited or challenged me.  Megan thinks it’s because we are getting down to the end of the basket where the topics we rejected over the last nine months are starting to pile up. I think it’s because the topics are starting to overlap in my mind, and I feel like “been there, done that.” Frankly, I’m deceiving myself here with excuses. I’m often not enthusiastic because I have given in to one of my demon qualities, procrastination. And, when I rush to finish an essay instead of letting ideas percolate, my efforts become mediocre.
 

Trickster Coyote

Today, I procrastinated on getting my materials ready for the OLLI class I am co-facilitating on “Mythology and the Human Experience.” My job was to prep the introduction  for a segment on Native-American Trickster myths (raven, coyote, spider and hare). Trickster figures are “self-deceivers.” They often think they have the cunning and imagination to outsmart everyone else. They flaunt the tribal rules, go against the natural order of things, and end up oftentimes getting smacked for it in different ways.  In their elaborate efforts to deceive others, they deceive themselves into thinking this next time, this next trick…they will prevail. They DO prevail often enough to keep trying. I guess you might say they are “sophomoric,” the incarnation of the wise fool.
 

One such trickster is the Rabbit.  Like all tricksters, Rabbit boasts that he can do anything anybody else can...and better. He deceives himself into thinking that cunning will surpass his true nature so that he can fly like a bird or swim like an otter. In a Cherokee tale, even though he can’t swim, Rabbit shows off to Otter by “proving” that he eats ducks just like Otter.  He fashions a noose and rope, then dives from a bank into the water to catch a meal of duck just like Otter does. After several sputtering efforts, he reaches a duck and throws a noose over its head. The bird flies up from the water with Rabbit still hanging onto the noose. Rabbit cannot hold on and lets go of the rope, falling into a large tree stump: “and there he stayed until he was so hungry that he had to eat his own fur, as the rabbit does when he is starving.” (source; Mooney 40).
 

Rabbit eventually finds a way out of the tree using his cunning. Like the Energizer Bunny, the Trickster always keeps on going despite starving, drowning, incinerating and other near-death experiences. 
 

Trickster Br'er Rabbit

The trickster Rabbit appears in other cultures besides the folklore of the Cherokee, such as western, central and southern African stories. They are the basis of the southern stories of Bre’r Rabbit and the Uncle Remus stories, which Joel Chandler Harris wrote and published from oral forms. Looney Tunes brought us Bugs Bunny, who has many Trickster qualities except that his trickery usually leave him on top in his confrontations with Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, etc. Imagine the voice of Bugs Bunny as he speaks the words of his creator Bob Clampett:  “I always treat the contest with my pursuers as 'fun and games.' When momentarily I appear to be cornered or in dire danger and I scream, don't be consoined[sic] – it's actually a big put-on” (source: “Bugs Bunny”).
 

I see that my morning has disappeared, and I need to finish up. I hear in my head the words of another famous rabbit “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date…”


Source:
“Bugs Bunny.” Wikipedia.

Mooney, James.  Myths of the Cherokee.  P. 40

Megan:

On Deceiving Oneself

In a different mood, I might have a different response to this topic. I might think of all the times I’ve said things like “I let myself believe…” or “I fooled myself…” or “I was lying to myself…” We claim an ability to “trick” ourselves, when in reality we are belatedly trying to justify an action that we knew was wrong. I don't believe it is possible to deceive your own self.

Examples of other kinds of deception abound. Commercial advertising, for example, often deceives consumers by pairing a product with a desirable or aspirational image (ie shampoo with a supermodel), which suggests that the former produced the latter, and can do the same for you!  By inundating the public (and especially girls and young women) with unnatural and unattainable standards of beauty, these companies ensure a continuous demand for their products. But this is common knowledge, right? Everyone knows that stick thin models are bad examples for insecure teenage girls. Yet new ads come out all the time, for diet plans and prepackaged “healthy snacks” all following the same template -- because it works, because people still buy the products, because people still want to believe.

In the nutrition class I am taking, we recently watched a video lecture about how to respond to people who will criticize or naysay the benefits of a vegan diet. The lecturer was a psychologist named Doug Lisle, author of The Pleasure Trap (from where his lecture was drawn). He pointed out that the challenges will come from two separate groups – from those who are nutritionally ignorant (“Where do you get your protein?”) and from those who know the benefits, but for whatever reason choose not to follow the diet themselves. And, he warned us,  it is from this second group that the criticisms will be more emotional and manipulative. Alcoholics in recovery often lose their drinking friends, who perceive abstinence to be an indictment of their own behavior. Dr. Lisle warns that people who “know the truth” but are unable to apply it in their own life, will feel threatened and judged by one who can.  But it is Ego, rather than self-deception, that provokes this reaction.

I use these two examples on purpose, and I want to acknowledge the “hypocrisy.” I’m very vocal about my resentment of the advertising industry, and not because I am able to rise above and see it for what it is. I resent it because I have fallen for it. I buy the department store makeup, the hair dye, and the shoes that are supposed to make my ass look great. I’ve resisted dieting in the past (with one dangerous exception*) because I didn’t want to be one of those women – obsessed with calorie counting and scales and “a moment on the lips, forever on the hips.” I told myself being overweight was a way to rebel against the superficial.

I don’t consider veganism a “diet.” For myself, this is a bit of an experiment. What I’m learning in class makes sense to me, and I’m seeing results. I don’t just mean weight loss. It’s easier for me to get up in the morning, and I have more energy. I don’t feel tired after I eat. So, I’m going to stick with it for a while and see how it goes, even if it does seem that by trying to lose weight I’m allowing myself to be deceived by a superficial and artificial ideal.

* I tried the Cambridge Diet a few years ago when a lot of my colleagues were also doing it. I lost a lot of weight very quickly, but my hair started falling out and my gums began to recede. I am more concerned about keeping my teeth and hair than I am about losing weight – probably because toothless, bald women are not considered attractive in our society.

Topic 169: Imitation

Carol:

Knock, Knock:

When Charles Caleb Colton penned the familiar phrase “imitation is the sincerest [form] of flattery (Lacon, V 1, no. 183),  he wasn’t thinking about copyrights, patents, intellectual property rights and consumer piracy.
 

Knockoffs are mass-produced imitations of popular or high-end products such as clothing, perfume, jewelry and suitcases.  Sometimes knockoffs are sold as “the real thing” to customers who think they are getting a great deal on a Luis Vuitton designer handbag or a Nordic Track.  Sometimes, the name or logo is changed slightly on the product to fool someone who isn’t paying attention. The product doesn’t even have to be expensive; it can be a lowly marking pen:

              

One of the most commonly  counterfeited goods in the United States is cigarettes, which can be sold more cheaply because the dealers and buyers are circumventing the tax revenues that hike the cost of brand-name cigarettes.
 

I suspect that most people who buy a product from an unconventional source at an unconventional price know they are “cheating the system” but may consider it a victimless crime. In actuality, the victims are not faceless government or corporate agencies but people who lose their jobs, their creative idea, and the benefits from tax revenues.  It is estimated that 750,000 jobs have been lost in the United States from counterfeiting, which has seen a huge spike in imitation drugs and computer parts over the last several years. Much of the commerce related to counterfeit goods now takes place over the Internet (source: “Counterfeit Consumer Goods”). And most of the seized products come from Asia. According to a study by the European Union, in 2005,  86% of seized knockoffs came from China (source: “Pirated Products”).
 

Another revenue loss besides the traffic in fake products is the traffic in pirated products. Despite the efforts of Hollywood and Silicon Valley to protect their latest film or cell phone technology, pirated movies, music and electronic devices show up on the Internet or are sold in international markets before they are officially released in the United States.
 

Generic products are legitimate “knock-offs” which are usually cheaper because they are often sold by lesser known companies without the marketing or advertising costs that inflate the price of products bearing the brands of famous companies or supermarkets. Generic medicines are cheaper than their brand-name counterparts because they are using drugs whose expensive patents have expired. Although studies have shown that quality is usually very similar between the “off brand” and the “popular brand,” many people will argue that they can tell the difference and are willing to pay the extra cost for a Cola, a pill or a bottle of Scotch.
 

Well, I’m going to knock off this essay even though it’s a little shorter than my usual essays. I Have a suitcase sitting on my bed waiting to be packed for a trip to the Northwest. I really like my suitcase, which I got a great deal on at an outlet mall near Sedona.  Quite chic really, a Lois Voitan original.
  

Sources:
Counterfeit Consumer Goods. Wikipedia.
Image of marking pens.  Author: DangApricot. 22 Nov 2008 No higher resolution available.
SharpieVsShoupie.JPG‎ (800 × 600 pixels, file size: 153 KB, MIME type: image/jpeg)
Image of cola can. Author: RelyAble at en. WikipediaGeneric_Cola_Can_Jewel.jpg‎ (158 × 317 pixels, file size: 19 KB, MIME type: image/jpeg)
“Pirated Products worth More Than $200 billion in 2005.” Agence France-Presse. 6 June 2007. Industry Week. 
 

Megan:

This essay has nothing to do with the topic.

These are the only essays we’ll be posting this week, because the senior member of this team has skipped town. This is a trip I might have been invited on if I had not gotten a puppy, so I’m harboring a little resentment at Bella for the moment for keeping me home.

That being said, I was also really looking forward to this week by myself. I had plans to clean and repair things, to train Bella to be the Best Dog Ever, and to eat healthy and lose 50 pounds. All in a single week! It was going to be amazing. Maybe it still will be. But it’s not gotten off to a very good start.

Last night I read a murder mystery about a serial killer who preyed upon single women home alone. I finished the book satisfied that the killer had been caught, but then realized it had gotten dark as I read away the afternoon and evening and there wasn’t a light on in the house. To say this freaked me out would be an understatement, so I did what any normal person would do. I turned on every light, locked all the doors and posted my predicament on Facebook. Then I had a glass of wine and two bowls of ice cream to calm the nerves.

I woke abruptly this morning after Bella kicked me in the face. I was relieved to be unmurdered, but not pleased that it was 5:15 AM. But I had stuff to do, so I got up. Our bi-monthly cleaning service is coming this morning and the senior member of this team failed to tidy up before leaving yesterday. Mostly this just involves clearing surfaces, and I finished with plenty of time to take the dogs on their morning walk with the neighbors.

My initial plan was to walk Milo on the leash, and let Bella walk free, which is how we’ve been doing it for the past week. This morning she decided to regress, and take a piggy back ride on the eldest and most arthritic dog in the back, which was not appreciated by either the dog or her owner. To Milo's disappointment, I cut the walk short, and skipped  coffee because I don’t like coffee and we headed home.

I let both the dogs out of the car to go into the house without leashes because, again, that is how we always do it. Within seconds, Milo was two blocks down the street. I thought he was chasing a woman who was walking by, but he just flashed past her. Bella followed for about 20 yards and then just stopped and watched him, obviously in awe of his speed and power. He turned  around, ran back past the house and disappeared into the bushes. Bella tried to follow him, but came running back to me after a minute, like she was being chased.

I wandered through the yard calling his name and shaking a bag of treats, but there was no sign of him. After 45 minutes, I got in the car to drive around the block. At the bottom of the hill, standing right in the middle of the road was the biggest coyote I’ve ever seen. I had to hit the horn to get him out of the way, and immediately I had visions of Milo lying in a ditch with his throat ripped out and his stomach torn open, and I’d left my phone at home so I couldn’t call the vet when I found him, and would I have the strength of will to pick up his body and put it in the car?

I continued driving slowly, calling his name, and swearing and praying in a weird mantra. “Dear God, shitshitshit, don’t let him be dead please, MILO,  shitshit, please God.” I pulled back in the drive way and Milo appeared running behind the car, with a very big stick (or the leg of a deer) clenched in his teeth, perfectly healthy and happy. I think Bella was even more relieved to see him than I was. She greeted him with a bark, and attempted a piggy back ride.

It's going to be a very long week.

Milo taking refuge from Bella.

       

Topic 161: On answering advertisements

Carol:

Let Your Fingers Do the Walking 

I found my first apartment through an ad in the Riverside Press-Enterprise in 1970. My roommate from the dorms and I decided to find a place  off campus. We both left town for the summer, leaving the apartment search for our return. I skimmed the classified ads for a few days, wrote down the phone numbers of a few rentals, and spent an afternoon driving around once I had made appointments with landlords.  

 

Happy Home 1970

The place I chose was not fancy or new, but the price was right--seventy-five dollars for a furnished two-bedroom apartment downtown,  utilities included.  The apartment was the top story of an old, wood-framed house among many old homes that had been evolved from stately, one-family Victorian homes into semi-shabby multi-unit housing for university students. And, it had a certain eccentric charm. Most of my friends lived in places like it, but nobody had a bathroom you entered through the front hall closet or a bathtub in an alcove off the kitchen (no curtain).  The furniture matched the age and state of the house, shabby without the chic.  The house was a block from the railroad tracks, but we got used to the noise and the rattling windows of both the trains and the Simi Valley earthquake.
 

Happy Home 1987

Before the move to Prescott in 1983, Marc and I found  a real estate agent  instead of looking at the housing ads. The agent was efficient, made all the telephone contacts before we arrived in town, and arranged  appointments for a “look-see” weekend. Housing was so much cheaper than California that It only took one visit for us to find a house we liked. The realtor wrote up the offer, sending us off to dinner while we waited for the reply. A block down the road, we saw a “For Sale by Owner Sign” in front, not a house we liked, but a house we loved…and have lived in for 28 years
 

Happy Home 2010

 When Megan  got her job in England, the moving process was complicated. She was concerned about buying a car, setting up a bank account, and finding a place to live , so I decided to help her find living quarters by doing an on-line search. The process wasn’t really any more complicated than my perusal of the classified ads in 1970, or our appointment with the realtor in 1983, just different. Thanks to the Internet, I could plug in locations, type of housing, price range, and pictures and lists would pop up. up.  It was fun to see what kinds of places people in East Anglia were living in and paying for…until I started converting the rental costs from pounds to dollars and  their locations in relation to her job from kilometers to miles. Suddenly, the list of options shrank. But, there it was, a charming little flat with a courtyard, flowers and vine-covered walls. Could she answer that ad with the click of a computer key and arrange a look-see from 5456 miles away (8781 kilometers)? Although Megan will tell you quaint isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, especially in the winter without central heating, that little High Street flat in March, advertised on the Internet, was her home for four years.
 

I skim the classified ads in our newspaper everyday. Sometimes I look at houses that would downsize us from our 3-level house and acreage of weeds and critters. Who knows what I might find when I let my fingers do the walking.

 Megan:

As an unemployed person, I obviously spend a lot of time perusing job advertisements. But that’s not very interesting. So, when I need a break, I read the personal ads on Craigslist. I have never responded to an ad on Craigslist, but as far as dating sites go, my understanding is that it is not the greatest place to meet people. Other sites like match.com, eharmony and my favorite Alikewise, (which lets you select people based on reading interest) seem like serious sites for people looking for more than a hookup.

Anyway, Craigslist hasn’t completely caught on in Prescott. There are a few “men for women” ads posted each day, but nothing like the Portland or Bay Area sites.  Even with the poor selection, I still find plenty to amuse me.

Here’s one from today, perfectly in my age range:

seeing whats out there - 29
Well I would like to say what on looking for but I hate going into anything with set expectations lol. The title says it all, I'm looking to see what's out there and to hopefully meet a cool girl, please include a pic with a reply, I don't open anything without a pic. I will send a few back, oh please put cool girl in the subject line.

This poster is hoping to cast the widest net  but offers nothing for the reader to respond to, nothing to suggest that writing back wouldn’t just be a huge waste of time. 


This guy is probably too old for me, but I have to admit that the headline caught my interest. I wasn’t disappointed.

{Need a girl that can work it} - 41
Hi There. I,am looking for a girl that can take it all they are hard to find. I.am 5"11 and 205lb & lightskin. I have been here for 3yrs. I.am nice looking & body. I like to have a beer or two and fun to be with but i like to stay at home and cill to.I dj back in the days so i know how she shoud work it!!! so email me to get my # and we can talk for the frist time. Will see wear it gos we can go slow from there!! Be over 21 have a drink or 2 some wine. Look me up I.am at home. And if u need it now iam game.We can go swiming indoors or hit the spa its all up 2 u FEEL ME!!!!! Got to go. BE DF!!

I’m not ruling out internet dating. I know people who have had success with it. The thing is, sometimes I try to come up with personal ads for myself. What am I supposed to say? “I’m almost 30 and I live at home with my parents. I also don’t have a job.” I’m not in the mood for dating, not until I figure the other stuff out. So for now, the only ads I’ll be responding to will be for jobs.  And when I need a break, I’ll be reading the book I just got on preparing for the GRE.