Topic 65: Social Eclipses

Carol:

Little Princess, How Does Your Garden Grow?

I have daydreamed about secret rooms and hidden gardens since I first read Frances Hodgson Burnett’s 1911 children’s class The Secret Garden. Sad,  lonely little Mary Lennox discovers her uncle’s long neglected, walled English garden. As little Mary nurses the garden back to beauty, she helps the Craven family emerge from the emotional eclipse of pain and loss, transforming herself as well. I continued to enjoy this story with my children, as well as the movies based on the book and the musical The Secret Garden, which premiered on Broadway in 1991.

Not long after The Secret Garden became popular, another garden began to bloom under the careful guidance of American horticulturist Anna Gilman Hill, who later recounted:
               

              . . . whenever I say my garden I mean the small walled garden
                  opening out of the sun-room at Easthampton. In 1913 we bought
                  a gray shingled cottage and four acres of land on Lily Pond Lane. . .
                  what a name to conjure with. (source: What Were The Skies Like)

In 1922 a prominent New York family bought the 28-room “cottage” on Lily Pond Lane, and their social eclipse over the next 50 years would make Grey Gardens, their home, famous.  A 1972 New York Magazine article “The Secret of Grey Gardens,” revealed the decline of Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy’s first cousin Edith Bouvier Beale and her daughter “Little Edie.”  I have seen the 1976 Maysles’ documentary Grey Gardens as well as the 2009 HBO film  and the award-winning musical Grey Gardens, which opened on Broadway in November 2006.

The  Easthampton house and garden mirror the increasing isolation and neglect by , and of,  the Beale mother and daughter.  But, Little Edie welcomes the world into Grey Gardens with the drama and graciousness of her upper-class childhood.  Despite the squalor and decay, there is something compelling in this middle-aged former model and would-be chanteuse who strikes poses and twirls for the camera.

Perhaps in the 1920’s Little Edie Bouvier Beale sometimes escaped from the glamour and famous visitors to read The Secret Garden in the family library. She might have stolen away to her own secret garden to read another Frances Hodgson Burnett  1904 classic The Little Princess.  Perhaps 50 years later Little Edie would remember:

If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it." (from The Little Princess)

Little Edie's walled garden

Sources:

Anna Gilman Hill 

Frances Hodgson Burnett quotes
Grey Gardens
The Secret Garden
 

Megan:

New Mommies are Smug

When I moved back to Prescott, I was looking forward to spending more time with the friends I grew up with. Some of them had moved back, some had never left. We always made a point to see each other when I was in town, and I assumed it would be like high school. I failed to factor in three things – they have jobs, they are married, and most of them have kids.  I have none of those things.

The job part isn’t that big a deal. I have a lot of activities and projects that keep me busy during the day, including working on this website, The Book, taking online classes and filling out job applications.

Being married also wasn’t that much of a barrier. Most of my friends have been married for years and I get along well with their spouses. We spent time together often, and although some events require more planning, last minute ideas and suggestions were still welcomed.  Instead of hanging out every day, we still got together a few times a week.

But the kids! Now that they have kids they’re almost never available. It’s not just because kids (especially babies) are so much work, and that the parents are tired all the time, although I’m sure that’s a big part of it. I feel like I’m not invited because they think I might not be interested. Recently I went shopping for the day with two women I’ve known my whole life. They spent most of the time talking about their kids, comparing milestones, asking advice. One of them turned to me and apologized. “This must be really boring for you,” she said. It’s not though.

I love kids. I have been taking care of children since I was 13 years old. In college I was a nanny for two families, and when I’ve been around I’ve always taken care of my cousin’s kids when she had school or work. Until my friends and family actually had their own kids, I probably had more experience with children than all of them put together. And I know saying that sort of thing invites a punch to the face. After all, I got to give the kids back at the end of the day.

Anyway, I’m not jealous or feeling left out. I’m really happy for them and the lives they’ve made for their families. I don’t know if that kind of family life is waiting for me in the future, but I’m always going to be interested in hearing about theirs.  When I moved back here I left a life behind me in England, but thought my old one would still be waiting when I came back. That was naïve.  It’s not how I thought it would be, but it’s still good. 

I’m including this video only because it is really funny. It does not reflect my actual feelings.

(Or does it???)