Topic 64: On Asking Why

Carol:

A Word to the Why’s

I keep six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.  

(Rudyard Kiping, from Just So Stories 1902)

For a couple of years in college I was a journalism major, that is until I became assistant editor of my college newspaper and found out I couldn’t handle the pressure of deadlines and the ritual of all-nighters to meet those deadlines. However, I did take journalism classes and I did teach a print media course that analyzed different types of journalistic writing. So, I both learned and taught what are called the 5 W’s and the H although not by way of Kipling. The 5 W’s and the H are “honest serving-men” because they elicit factual responses and because they can’t be answered with a simple yes or no.

Kids are really good at asking questions because they are naturally curious about the world around them. They don’t understand yet the idea of the rhetorical question. Why on earth would someone ask a question he or she already knew the answer to?  At a certain age, the questions seem to be incessant. But, they are a natural stage in child development; the questioning starts around three and eventually becomes internalized as the curious child is encouraged to seek the answers for him or herself, the pathway to self-directed learning and information-gathering.

In an article called “Why Children ask Why," pediatrician Dr. Alan Greene writes quite beautifully about this stage in a child’s conversational development:

But by the time children are able to speak in sentences, it sounds deceptively like they mean the same thing we [adults] do. This happens at about the same time their curiosity, imagination, and creativity skyrocket. They begin to ask, "Why?" "Why?!?!" "WHY, Mommy, WHYYYYY?"

According to Dr. Greene, adults assume that children are asking why about a particular thing and that we need to answer that question. And we adults get frustrated when we don’t know the answer to the question, or when giving the answer doesn’t stop the next why. Dr. Greene says that what children really mean—that we adults  don’t mean when we ask questions—is  “Let’s have a conversation, “ not “Tell me the answer.”That seemingly endless series of   questions is the only way young children can express their need for attention and interaction. And, as Dr. Greene points out, we can fully satisfy the child’s need for that interaction without even answering the “why.”
 

Soon enough, the why question seems to get turned around, and we parents are the ones who are craving the conversation and attention from our children. Somehow in the relationship between parent and child the table seems to flip, and the children learn pretty fast that even  the 5 W’s and the H can be answered with one word.
       Who are you going to the movie with? Nobody
       What’s on your mind, son? Nothing.
       Where would you like to go for dinner? Nowhere.
       When are you going to apologize to your sister? Never.
       Why didn’t you let me know you’d be late? Dunno
       How about we try to talk this thing through?
Whatever.
        

Sources: 

Dr. Allen Greene. “Why Children Ask Why.” Pediatrics Naturally. 

Rudyard Kipling. “The Elephant’s Child." Just So Stories.
                

Megan:

Why Why is Pointless. Or not. (Whatever)

Of all the questions typically asked (How, Who, What , Where, When) Why is probably the hardest to answer and often the most important.
Or the least important.
Depending on how much value one places on reason, purpose or motivation.

According to the slackers of the dictionary world:

Definition of MOTIVATION
1a : the act or process of motivating
  b : the condition of being motivated
2: a motivating force, stimulus, or influence : incentive, drive

Now that the word has been so clearly defined, you can see why I get exasperated sometimes.

There is a reason I’m struggling with this topic. I’ve decided to get off my lazy, unemployed rear-end and start writing The Book. The last time I tried to write this novel was in 2002.  In the process of compiling notes and observations that I recorded years ago, I’m running into the same problem I had the first time I tried to write it – I’m not sure why the characters act the way they do, or if an explanation is even necessary. At the moment, I’m thinking I’ll leave the Why until the 12th draft.

This essay is a welcome interruption and a chance for me to reflect for a moment on the problem.  Instead of letting this question stall the project like I did before, I’m just carrying on with all the other questions – the HWWWW parts.

An example:
Using my computer (How), I (Who) am typing this essay (What) in my shed (Where) at 9:28 AM (When) because…  um…

• I guess the biggest reason is that my mother and I made an agreement with each other and with you readers to meet here 5 days a week and share some ideas. 
• But another reason is that writing daily essays is a practical exercise to keep our brains stimulated.
• Or because we have an inflated sense of the importance of our ideas, and you should be grateful we have deigned to share them with you.

 Maybe not that last one.

This is the problem with Why. There’s always more than one reason. It’s the hardest question to answer, but it’s also the only one that’s interesting.