Topic 44: On Making Excuses

Carol:

Excuuuuuuse Me!

 If you are a teacher, which I was, you hear excuses all the time. Students make excuses for being late to class, missing class, being late to conferences, missing conferences, being late with assignments, for  missing assignments, and even for making excuses.  My favorite was from a 10th grader on Halloween who was dressed on the right side like a football player, on the left like a hooker: half a helmet, half a wig, one foot cleated, one high-heeled. The context is critical because the excuse was made completely dead-pan. “I don’t have my essay because I wrote it in red ink and a vampire sucked it up.” Remember, he was a sophomore and I have a corny sense of humor.   

If you are a procrastinator, which I am, you make excuses all the time. You make   lame ones to your dental hygienist when you don’t floss regularly, banal ones to your book club when you didn’t finish the reading on time, and silly ones to your daily theme readers when you were watching the election results on TV instead of working on topic #44. Most often, you make excuses to yourself for behaviors that you wish you could change: “I didn’t get any exercise today because   …. (insert here: it was too cold, it was too hot, my running shorts were in the wash, I didn’t want to be late for work, I’m retired, etc). 

If you are a politician, which thank goodness I am not, you create excuses about all kinds of things. Especially the day after an election. This morning a high-profile female Tea Party candidate from a state far far away, blamed her defeat on the lack of support from Republican mainstreamers she had been criticizing for months. Closer to home, a candidate for state office who  lost to the  Republican incumbent  excused his defeat  by pulling out the Race Card…”Well, it’s not a good year to run for office if there’s a D by your name.” 

The Devil Made Me Do It!

If you are a comedian, which no one would ever mistake me for, you turn excuses into high art.  Take, for instance, Geraldine Jones, a totally in-your-face sassy, bigger-than-life 70’s personality who appeared regularly on The Flip Wilson Show.   Each week she would trade jokes and jabs with the likes of Joe Namath, Muhammad Ali, and Ray Charles, and she became famous for her phrases, “What you see is what you get” and “When you’re hot you’re hot.”  The only time she made excuses for what she did or what she wore, she did it big and bold.  At the end of the show, when she pulled  off that outrageous wig and took her bows as Flip Wilson, he never had to make excuses for creating a wildly liberated character that everyone loved to imitate.

I guess there’s a lesson in here somewhere. People make excuses for everything. Either change your behavior, or quit making excuses (whether you’re a student, a procrastinator, a politician…) But, if you’re going to make excuses, do it big. In the spirit of Flip and Geraldine, shout it out “The Devil made me do it.”

Megan:

On Making Excuses

I did go to the local version of the Rally to Restore Sanity.

I have a confession to make. I didn’t vote in yesterday’s election. I meant to, but I forgot to register, and then I thought maybe I was already registered, but it turned out I wasn’t, and that’s the way it went.

When the 2008 election was coming up, I was visiting my parents and my mother reminded me several times to register to vote, and that it was “more important than ever” and that “this is a really important election.” She mentioned it so many times it sort of got on my nerves. My father even picked up the necessary paperwork from the Democratic headquarters.  Every now and then I regress to my teenage self and do the exact opposite of whatever the parents suggest. It’s sort of like whenever my dad says to me, “I know I don’t have to worry about you,” and I suddenly think of all the things I could tell him to make him worry.  But then I don’t, because life is better for everyone when there is no worry.

Anyway, I didn’t vote the whole time I was living in England because I had no intention of returning to the US to live and didn’t believe I should influence a system that didn’t affect me. Except that it did, of course, because what happens in America isn’t limited to America… so I admit that was foolish.

A month or so ago, I was driving through town and I heard on the radio that it was the last day to register to vote. I was surprised how it snuck up on me because neither of my parents had even mentioned it.   I distinctly remember thinking, “I need to take care of that … oh look a puppy!” That was also when I was actively trying to get my parents to get another dog. I’ve put that plan on hold because Milo has also regressed and confuses my bed with a fire hydrant at least once a week. So, I got distracted is what I’m saying and missed the deadline.

A couple of weeks ago, I got a notice from the Democratic party reminding me to vote or something (I actually didn’t open it because I was suddenly enraged) – and I thought my father had registered me to vote in my absence. I complained to my mother about it, and then ... I dunno ... I forgot again, because she’s the one who asked him about it, but he said he didn’t do it. Something about how it’s illegal to register someone else to vote. Then I got the same notice from the Republicans and the Green Party.  I don’t know if I was getting these notices every election, or if they suddenly found out I was in town or something … but it turned out I wasn’t registered.

In England, by the way, you have to register – it’s a law. They send you this form to fill out and you have to do it, even if you’re not allowed to vote. If you forget to return the form, someone comes to your house and knocks on your door and is kinda snippy about it.  I’d go right out today and register, except that I’m planning on moving soon (as soon as I get a job), and I don’t want to do it twice. But if I’m still here for the next election, I promise no more excuses.
                                

Rally to Restore Sanity -- Prescott, Arizona 10/29/2010